How did THAT get dirty?

I love my child. He is the most wonderful person. I never knew how much I could love a person until I gave birth.

All that being said, I have a few questions:
1. Why do my hands continue to smell like poop from cleaning his bottom even after I've carefully washed my hands with soap? Yes, this is gross but it is true.
2. How does one little kid manage to have six thousand crayons?
3. Is there ever enough juice (so sugar added) in our house?
4. How in the world can the horizontal blinds that cover the sliding glass door get THAT dirty? They were clean with it was just me and Rick!
5. When is the dog going to back her bags and move out because she's tired of being beat up by a 3 year old? (Who am I kidding? She loves it.)
6. Why does toothpaste taste so good and when will I learn that I need to lock it up?
7. What bribery (ummm, I mean positive reinforcement)method will work best in order to get him to use the potty? What will I do with all of the money I'll save by not buying diapers?
8. How do I convince him that the cat does not share his sense of humor and that pulling his tail is not funny?
9.How is it that he is so darn cute?