I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if I didn't have something to feel guilty about. An appropriate amount of guilt is good but I have yet to find my own level of appropriateness. Most of the things I feel guilty about have to do with being a mom. Here are the main things:
1. Tyler is not potty trained yet and he will turn 3 1/2 in a couple of days. He totally understands what a toilet is but he just doesn't want anything to do with it.
2. Tyler uses a binky while he sleeps.
3 Tyler still sleeps in his crib. We are, however, waiting for his big boy bed to arrive in a few days. We bought the mattress and bedding over the weekend.
4. That I don't do everything I want to do for him each day. I constantly critique what kind of mother I'm being toward him.
I feel guilty everyday because my house is not as clean as it should be. The laundry is hardly ever caught up, either.
I feel guilty that I hung up on a salesman the other night. I was talking to him for about 10 minutes and was interested in setting up a meeting with him. But then I felt he got too pushy and I kind of told him off and then hung up. I should have handled that differently.
I feel guilty that I'm getting a discount on my cell phone bill that I shouldn't be getting. (But, no, I won't do anything about that. I may feel guilty but I'm no fool.)
I feel guilty that I don't read my Bible enough because I watch TV instead.
The all time number one thing I feel guilty about is my WEIGHT. I've felt guilty about my weight since I was a kid and I wasn't even heavy back then! I know how to lose weight. I know that it takes exercise and food portion control but I don't do it. It makes no sense why I don't change! There is a theory I learned about in college called Cognitive Dissonance Theory "The more mental discomfort one feels, the more likely that person will change." Well, I feel TONS of discomfort and I still don't do anything about it except to feel guilty. It's so stupid to torture myself like that. Either lose the weight and shut up or stay fat and shut up! Losing the weight is obviously the preferable choice.
I cannot believe I'm blogging about all of this but I have to tell you that it feels liberating! Most of you know how neurotic I am but for those of you who didn't....now you know.
1 year ago