I got the dreaded call about a half hour before preschool was finished today, "Tyler messed in his pants." I went right down there to clean him up and change him. He had a pee-pee accident yesterday but they just changed him themselves, which is something I appreciate. Today was poo-poo. All of the other kiddos were outside playing so it was just Tyler and his teacher in the classroom. I took one look at her and got teary eyed. She said, "Why are you upset?" I said, "I'm pregnant and I cry about everything." Nice, Jen, nice. Could I be anymore of a baby?
I took Tyler into the restroom and kindly but assertively said, "Tyler, you need to go pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty." I cleaned him up and went back to the classroom. I said that I'd just take him home since the school day was almost over anyway. This is when my feelings started to get hurt.
His teacher told me that I needed to do this, that and the other. I felt like saying, "Duh, like I don't know that." But I remembered she doesn't know what I know or don't know. Then she said that Tyler needs to pee standing up. What? I was thinking, "Lady, I'm just glad he is going potty. We'll work on the standing up part later." I guess I need to learn exactly what their expectations are because if he has to be able to stand up and go potty totally unassisted, I don't think we'll be able to do that right away.
This is where I need and welcome your feedback. Is is reasonable for someone who is new to potty training to be able to stand up to pee? What's wrong with helping him sit down in such a way that the pee goes into the potty and not all over the place? I know that there are rules they have to follow regarding touching the children but I'm just asking them to help him sit down back enough to help the aim. They don't need to touch his penis or anything. Am I totally off base? Is it reasonable to expect a 3 or 4 year old to hold his penis while standing up to go pee-pee? Won't the pee go all over the place? I know he'll have to learn at some point but now?
Why am I upset about this?
8 years ago
8 comments:
I know you are upset. Potty training puts so much stress on everyone!! Brady still sits to pee. It makes my life so much easier-lots less cleaning!! It shouldn't matter if he stands or sits. I'm sure all the little girls sit!! Tell the teacher that this is your potty training method and you need to stick with it in order to be consistant. You keep up with what you are doing and he will catch on. I would still let him sit if that is how he feels most comfortable. Actually, when they sit first to pee it makes it a lot less scary for them to sit to do #2.
It seems like everyone is an expert when it comes to your own child. Listen to your heart and your super Mommy instincts! Tyler is a great kid and will soon get the hang of using the potty. You did the right thing today be going to pick him up. Sometimes you just need to put a smile on your face and say, "Thank you, but no thank you!" I wish you so much luck.
Kat, that is a great point...sitting to pee WILL make it easier for him to learn to poo-poo on the potty! That's what I'm going to use as my 'argument' for not not standing at this point. Thank you for your feedback.
Oh my goodness, Jen both my boys sometimes still pee sitting down... I completely agree with Kat. And you have every right to be upset as I know I would be if that happened with one of the boys teachers.. It's not their place to tell you how to potty train YOUR child. The whole goal here is for Tyler to learn this and for him to do what feels right for him. Ignore all the unsolicited advice or suggestions and just follow Tyler's lead and trust your instincts. You are a great Mom and he is going to be fine. :-) Hugs!!!!
Jen.... I agree with both Katherine, and Mary. I taught Jason sitting down he still sits to this day. We have tried standing but it gets all oveer the place and he still is not tall enough to fully reach the bowl and not totally understanding on how to hold and aim correctly. I would be upset also if anyone would tell me how to potty train. You do what YOU think is right not what other people think you should do. I hope it all works out.
Melissa R.
You do have a right to be upset, potty training takes consistency and you can't be going back and forth right now, it will only confuse him. I say stick with what you are comfortable with. I did potty train Andrew standing up, but that is what worked for us. HE made less of a mess that way, but that was what worked for him, not everyone else. Potty training is stressful, but you are doing the right thing by sticking with one method, changing it up on him now will only make it more difficult for him, and you. Best of luck to you!
I let Mason decide which way when we started, and he began by sitting down too for a few months. Early on I got him to switch to standing and then once it sprayed everywhere, and he went back to sitting because he hates messes.
Now that he's tall enough to clear the rim, I encouraged him to switch back to standing (because sitting on some public potties kinda grosses me out) but I didn't force him. This only happened recently and I think he was only willing because he's been trained for awhile (and because he wanted to do it like Daddy). And because he's tall enough, I really don't have to help him hold anything.
I say, do it however works for you guys. If switching makes things more confusing to him, why switch? Like Kat says, girls all sit down, so that's no argument.
He will definitely get it, but it does take time. Hang in there, you're doing great!
I started Daniel sitting down but quickly transitioned him to standing for the reasons you mentioned. It was awkward asking people he stayed with to "push it down", etc. He picked up the standing part really quickly and can aim on his own. I know people have all kinds of ways to teach aim, but really we just told him to pee in the potty and he automatically could aim it in. No "holding" needed, it's just a shift of the hips :)
I am annoyed for you! My boy sits to pee too, and I have never ONCE thought about training him standing up. I figured I would just let him figure it out on his own. Basically she is just ANNOYING!!!
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