See Ya, 2009

I'm behind on my posts. Still need to post photos from Halloween, Ty's birthday and Christmas. But I thought I'd write a small post for 2009.

2009 began with the promise of a sibling for Tyler. By February that promise was squashed like an ugly cockroach you smash with a tennis shoe. I can honestly say that I endured the most difficult period of my life, which lasted eight weeks. Every single hour of every day I felt an astonishing amount of emotional pain. I was basically waiting for my unborn baby to die. Truth be told, I was praying he would die sooner than later. I educated myself well about Trisomy 13 and I DID NOT want my baby boy to have to suffer like that being born full term. God took Kevin at 23 weeks gestation (we think) and I sadly, painfully gave birth to him at week 24. It was the same as any other birth in the sense of physical pain but my heart broke as I left the hospital without my Kevin.

Physically, I felt much better yet anger set in. I was not mad at anyone but I was just mad. Conversely, the support I received was more overwhelming than the sadness. After only three months I got pregnant again! I was cautious as cautious could be. I would not allow myself to become attached. Now it's December 31st, I'm in my 26th week and I am quite optimistic that this baby is going to work out. Tyler will have a baby brother and I'm going to get to leave the hospital with a baby! We like the names Corey and Ryan.

Yes, this has been a year of opposites. Death and life.