I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if I didn't have something to feel guilty about. An appropriate amount of guilt is good but I have yet to find my own level of appropriateness. Most of the things I feel guilty about have to do with being a mom. Here are the main things:
1. Tyler is not potty trained yet and he will turn 3 1/2 in a couple of days. He totally understands what a toilet is but he just doesn't want anything to do with it.
2. Tyler uses a binky while he sleeps.
3 Tyler still sleeps in his crib. We are, however, waiting for his big boy bed to arrive in a few days. We bought the mattress and bedding over the weekend.
4. That I don't do everything I want to do for him each day. I constantly critique what kind of mother I'm being toward him.
I feel guilty everyday because my house is not as clean as it should be. The laundry is hardly ever caught up, either.
I feel guilty that I hung up on a salesman the other night. I was talking to him for about 10 minutes and was interested in setting up a meeting with him. But then I felt he got too pushy and I kind of told him off and then hung up. I should have handled that differently.
I feel guilty that I'm getting a discount on my cell phone bill that I shouldn't be getting. (But, no, I won't do anything about that. I may feel guilty but I'm no fool.)
I feel guilty that I don't read my Bible enough because I watch TV instead.
The all time number one thing I feel guilty about is my WEIGHT. I've felt guilty about my weight since I was a kid and I wasn't even heavy back then! I know how to lose weight. I know that it takes exercise and food portion control but I don't do it. It makes no sense why I don't change! There is a theory I learned about in college called Cognitive Dissonance Theory "The more mental discomfort one feels, the more likely that person will change." Well, I feel TONS of discomfort and I still don't do anything about it except to feel guilty. It's so stupid to torture myself like that. Either lose the weight and shut up or stay fat and shut up! Losing the weight is obviously the preferable choice.
I cannot believe I'm blogging about all of this but I have to tell you that it feels liberating! Most of you know how neurotic I am but for those of you who didn't....now you know.
7 years ago
6 comments:
remember when you gave birth to tyler and they made you sign that paper swearing that you would maintain an unnaturally high level of guilt for the rest of your life? yeah, me neither, they must have done it while we were all drugged up because that would account for our insanity.
you are not alone my friend. my guilt centers around the fact that brody eats nothing of nutritional value. you are normal in your neurosis!
yeah, I'm another joining you in the "guilty" corner. It's a bad hang-up of moms I think... we never think we're good enough at anything we do.
I wish someone had told me about mommy guilt before the boys were born. I remember them warning me that the first 6 weeks suck (which they really do) and that nursing would be really tough for the first 2 months (which it was) but why didn't anyone tell me about the guilt? Count me in as a member of the guilty mom club too.
Wow...your guilt list looks very similar to mine!
I'm there with ya sister... I feel guilty my son won't eat a vegetable, and for resenting my daughter for waking me up 3 times a night every night, and more. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one.
I'm right there with you, sista! You are NOT alone, just like the ladies said.
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