I would be at week 34 in my pregnancy with baby Kevin. There was a hugely pregnant woman in line in front of me at the grocery store yesterday. I could feel my heart sink. The woman in the house directly across the street from us is also hugely pregnant. (Don't even get me started about that. They don't even watch the kid they already have as she plays outside.)I'm supposed to organize meals for a gal in MOMS Club who's due at the end of June.
I should be waddling around, washing newborn baby clothes, looking gleefully into Kevin's nursery and feeling anxious about a forthcoming labor and delivery. Indeed, it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself. I don't think I am. It's just that a lot of time I simply don't allow myself to feel my loss.
Overall, I think I've been coping very well after baby Kevin passed away. I just have these small relapses once in a while and of course, they totally catch me off guard.
7 years ago
3 comments:
Jen, you are totally allowed to feel this way!!!!!!!!! Big Big Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!
you are allowed to feel sad. and jealous. and angry. you are normal and human. do you want me to do the meals for nicole... i don't mind...
It's not feeling sorry for yourself at all to feel this way Jen. You will always know how old baby Kevin "should be". For instance, I know Mae would be 4 1/2 years old... I think of her when I see girls that would have been her peers. It's just always there. Big hugs.
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